The twinkle in the eyes

Sometimes dim.

A smirk or a chuckle

Can be quite sinister.

A simple gesture

Seemingly genuine

May never know

A good time all around

Or is it just an act

To mask the grief

A progression

From innocence

To guilt

The regression

From pride

To shame

--

--

A spec among the crowd

I sit here with a shroud.

Laughter boisterous all around

Yet still I am with a frown.

Or maybe a smile I may show

But deep inside I feel so low.

A cheerful glimmer of hope

A moment later down the slope.

I choose to stay dark inside

. . . And hide.

--

--

The stain of sadness and sorrow
And the longing for something more.

Life seemed to be filled with adventure
But now it’s just quite dull.

I'm not even sure when it began
But I look back and remember a happy past
And now I just can't look past
The days in front of me.

What should I have done?
What could I have done differently?

Life was supposed to be exciting
And I remember the days when I looked forward
To the times I would have.

But now I look back
To what I used to have
And wonder
Was it even real.

Time has lost the virtue.

For time is now a blur.

I sit in my darkness

and wait.

--

--

Time it seems we don’t have enough,
But too much in fact to really enjoy.
Too much time filled with money, anger, and worry.

If only to stop and think a while
With only our silence and some sunshine.
Maybe then we could see how truly awful we really are.

Every word and every look,
We have a judgment at the ready.

Blind we are,
‘till we look inside
and see the horror we release to the world.

Displeased we should be not of the world,
But of ourselves destroying the peace
And beauty that could have been.

Filled with sorrow and pain,
I look around
And only can see false happiness.

Partake I do, but soon with regret,
For happiness does not belong
In this heart of mine.

--

--

Up I rise, unaware, sun in my face, and still blurry-eyed. Not soon after, I begin to see what I believe to be the world around me. However, not much later, I begin to explore the truth that lies beyond the restricting walls before me. But the issue is, the more I learn the worse I feel, for I know it’s I, who causes the chaos around me. So back I head behind my restricting walls, where I am safe and free of guilt, unknowing of the havoc surrounding me.

--

--

In the wake I sit and wonder why I choose to drag it on. Does life not find a way to distract our lack of purpose. With no time to stop and really think, we never wonder why we’re here. Instead, we continue on and on. Day by day we whittle away as a dullened blade is pushed into dirt. No rhyme or reason. It keeps us busy. The repetition keeps us sane. We find a purpose…we tell ourselves. There must be. It wouldn’t be if it wasn’t so.

--

--

Not quite a pit of blackness,
but just a constant nausea.

A swirling sea of confusion,
I sit and lie awake,
wondering the meaning.

The longer it goes on,
the less I think it matters,
or if I even care,
to contemplate the issue.

The motions of the day,
seem to flow without my guidance,
and no more do I resist,
but let the forces do as they will,
as I lay here and wait out my days.

--

--

Not quite a pit of blackness,
but just a constant nausea.

A swirling sea of confusion,
I sit and lie awake,
wondering the meaning.

The longer it goes on,
the less I think it matters,
or if I even care,
to contemplate the issue.

The motions of the day,
seem to flow without my guidance,
and no more do I resist,
but let the forces do as they will,
as I lay here and wait out my days.

--

--

One day is better than the other
but not because the day is any different.
The days go by quite the same
but my mind is the one to blame.

The day with purpose
is overcoming all but death.
While the day with sorrow
is likely tomorrow.

Our mind can be quite cruel at times
for the emotions we feel are never steady.
To feel the spectrum of love and anger
for I fear we are all in danger.

Our biggest enemy is always near
and you think you may have control.
But truth be told you are only a slave
and the mind will determine your grave.

--

--

Up the hill I climb
Foot in front of foot
The sun rises behind me

The whipping wind in my face
Lips are cracking
Taste of blood in my mouth

The crack of thunder roars above
Rain gushes down
Boots slosh with every step

Tears get hidden by the rain
Eyes swell red
Hands begin to numb

Near the top I reach
Sun setting in front of me
Rain subsides

At the peak of it all
The wind has calmed
Sitting there at the edge

The cliff hangs close in front
Down I see the floor below
Grassy meadows and flowers abloom

Off I jump to the sea below
I close my eyes and feel the wind
Heart goes numb

Peace at last
With regret no more
Into the blood-soaked grass

--

--